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volition.

June 2009

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Winged

hhaghwir in dearestangels

Wings ....

Last night, I'm laying in bed and ... not really thinking about much. Hell, i can't even remember what I was thinking.

Out of the bloo comes an image: Wings. Draconic wings and angelic wings as one. The feathered resting against leathered, part of - but separate, individual yet as one.

I guess, spread a set of draconic wings open, and on top/resting against you have the feathered set.

I started to ask, "what, who's?" but nary the thought and I had the answer: Mine.

Once again I am going through a spiritual form flux. Dragon? Angel? Me? Total confusion. There is no solidity, only confusing blured images, indefinate lines.

The last time this happened, it was large cat warring with large bird of prey.
End result, I had to split myself a bit - Spiritually I kept human form, but sub-spiritually, the two other forms blurred around.
Final result: Gryphon.

I went through quite a process just to accept myself and forms, each change easing me into the next.

Now it's time I get closer to the truth. I wonder how long it will take.
I wonder what form it will be.....

x-posted to otherkin & otherkin & hhaghwir

Comments

Hmmm...you could be anything really. I know, not helpful, but in my experience this is something that will take you removing any idea of what you are and than building from scratch to find out what you are.

I'm a chimera and I have something from almost every type of species out there (it's a long story), so for a while I cycled through forms like they were Pez candies and I was the dispenser. It took just letting everything go, nothing staying and losing all preconceptions of what I was, could be and should be, to figure it out. Don't push yourself to find out, but don't just be passive and let others and books tell you what you might be. Do what you feel is right really.
I'm going to go out on a limb here, not actually knowing if you're ready for this step but hey! whatevs, throw the baby in the river and see if zie learns to swim quickly and all that jazz.

The major defining technique I used for finding out what the hell I am was something along the lines of 'taking the string of history that is [my] spirit/soul and tracing it all the way back.' Mind that this can be rather misleading if you don't watch out for things, such as the fact that when the bright/memory-engraved portion of your spirit/soul (yeah, I always saw the parts that had memory from incarnation as sorta luminescent) ends, it doesn't necessarily mean that's the beginning either of your spirit or of the World or whatever. Also that your creator may not necessarily have been totally trustworthy if/when they told you when you came about. Also that you may not be able to trace it all the way back if it's locked off (I came across a few segments as such, skip over those and see if you can access something previous to it), and... yeah. Funky business, all this self-discovery-finding dealybarf.

In any case, if you want, go ahead and try it! It's sure to be illuminating in some way, and if it isn't helpful then if it isn't helpful then I claim zero liability k? k.

Other than that, I agree with
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I'm going to go out on a limb here, not actually knowing if you're ready for this step but hey! whatevs, throw the baby in the river and see if zie learns to swim quickly and all that jazz.

The major defining technique I used for finding out what the hell I am was something along the lines of 'taking the string of history that is [my] spirit/soul and tracing it all the way back.' Mind that this can be rather misleading if you don't watch out for things, such as the fact that when the bright/memory-engraved portion of your spirit/soul (yeah, I always saw the parts that had memory from incarnation as sorta luminescent) ends, it doesn't necessarily mean that's the beginning either of your spirit or of the World or whatever. Also that your creator may not necessarily have been totally trustworthy if/when they told you when you came about. Also that you may not be able to trace it all the way back if it's locked off (I came across a few segments as such, skip over those and see if you can access something previous to it), and... yeah. Funky business, all this self-discovery-finding dealybarf.

In any case, if you want, go ahead and try it! It's sure to be illuminating in some way, and if it isn't helpful then if it isn't helpful then I claim zero liability k? k.

Other than that, I agree with <lj-user=pheniox20>. I just threw this out here so that I don't leave you with at <i>least</i> enough rope to hang yourself! Good luck! (Cue maniacal laughter.)
... Not even bothering to delete and repost. Let's just say I hate the tab key, I hate how 'space' is somehow equal to 'enter' on the keyboard, I hate Microsoft in general and I definitely hate LJ's batshit whateverness.
*laughs*

Well, the other night I got another impression and I literally ducked.

My goodness, the self-image was ........ HUGE!!

I'm still realing trying to uhhh... obsorb the feeling of whatever it is.

The dragon form I have used for so long these years is small, petite, in comparison.

ummmm... I can't even place a physical descript 'cause .... nothing fits.

mrrrrp....